Happy Sunday Everyone:
Our family has a second home in Lake Tahoe. By “family” I mean my parents bought it a long while back but now that I’m 50, I’ve delegated it as “our family”, sounds better. Jack went up there last week with some friends, one of which is a relatively new college friend and hadn’t been there before. The boys know the drill, my folks have always taken really good care of their stuff and raised us to do the same, although their standards are at a different level (higher than anyone I know).
I get a call from Jack on his way back after dropping off his friends. He comments on his buddy Jackson (the guy that hadn’t been there before). He says, “Jackson has a lifetime invite to Tahoe”. I asked what he meant. Jack had woken up and found Jackson had already started washing his sheets, he had done all the dishes, scrubbed the kitchen down, and had put the cover back on the BBQ. None of this was asked or suggested by Jack in advance, he took it upon himself to dial in our home with care and respect. As a parent, and as a human, when I see that type of behavior, I have to take notice, recognize it, and appreciate it. My Jack made the best comment when he acknowledged it made him rethink how leaves a place.
I’ve been a dad of 2 boys, it’s all I know, so it’s all I can comment, when I witness these simple examples of respect, you try to reinforce with your kids the bigger meanings that come with it. Meanings from my perspective:
- How you do anything is how you do everything: I don’t know Jackson, Jack has confirmed with me that he’s a great young man in all his life. This simple example of taking care of our family’s place is in alignment with his character based on what Jack has told me.
- Delayed gratification vs. instant gratification: I’ve been the guy on the couch watching people doing dishes, and I’ve been the one doing the dishes while others are on the couch watching. Instant gratification is sitting on the couch while others do the work, delayed gratification is knowing you helped by doing the work. I’ll do my best to never be the guy on the couch again. Jackson could have gotten in his car and left without doing any of this, it would have been “easier”, what he did was “better”. Easier and better are rarely in alignment.
- People are always watching for cues about your character: Jackson has no idea I know any of this, but I’d hire the kid based on this one act alone. It’s a reminder to me, and one I hope to pass on to my boys, your character is always on display, whether you realize it or not. A wise way to live is to be intentional about the things that build character, and to avoid the things that take away from it. Something as simple as cleaning up someone else’s space is a small, powerful addition.
- Be helpful. I think of the people I love the most, respect the most, care for the most, all of them carry the same trait of being helpful. Being helpful is good, always. Helpful is the gateway for overall goodness.
Jack is right on Jackson; he has a lifetime invite to our home. I appreciate him for this lesson. I’d like to believe my past experiences in leaving someone else’s space has always been done with respect, but this exercise today will ensure I put a little more intentionality behind it. I might just ask myself if this fit Jackson’s standard of departure.
Have a great rest of your Sunday!