Happy Sunday Everyone:
And a big old shout out to all you dads out there. Let’s freaking go!! In all seriousness, Happy Father’s Day!
I’m becoming a bigger fan of holidays as I age. As we get older, we start to consider the finite nature of our lives here. I’m becoming increasingly aware of the holidays I have left, including this one. Best case I have 25-35 more Father’s Days left on this earth. The concept of finality, the end point, creates perspective. Perspective creates presence, presence creates appreciation, and appreciation creates gratitude. That’s my new found love of every holiday moving forward. They trigger perspective.
I’m sitting here right now in Lake Tahoe. I was on our boat yesterday named “Ripple Effect.” My dad purchased that boat. We named it after he passed, after a piece we found framed on his desk the week after he died. If you’ve been reading these thoughts for a while, you know the Ripple Effect well. If you’re new, the short version is this: your influence begins with you and ripples outward. Be sure it’s both potent and wholesome. He was the ultimate example of it.
Being on that boat yesterday, on Lake Tahoe, on the day before Father’s Day, it hit me. This is what the finite looks like when you do it right. Not the ending as much but the influence left behind. My dad isn’t here, but the boat has his name on it and his ripple is still moving through our lives.
I’ve written about the “because of / in spite of” framework a lot, especially on Father’s Day. Are your kids better because of you, or in spite of you? I still ask myself that question. But this year I’m thinking less about the framework and more about the time. Jack just graduated college. Thomas is settled in San Diego. Most of the daily reps are behind me now. The dinner table conversations, the car rides, the sideline moments. That window is largely closed. What’s left is more intentional. Calls, visits, showing up when it counts.
That actually clarifies things. It asks a simple question: what does being a great dad look like from here?
My own dad answered that question as well as anyone I’ve ever seen. His last years were his best years as a dad. Less advice, more presence. More listening. He gave me permission to be who I was becoming, not who he imagined I’d be. I want to be on that same trajectory with my boys.
My word for this year is “essential.” What deserves my energy, and what doesn’t? As a dad right now, the answer is pretty simple. Be available. Show up curious. Tell them how you feel before you think there’s a reason to.
My goal as dad is continue the ripple effect that my own dad created for me.
Have a great Sunday, and Happy Father’s Day!