Happy Sunday Everyone:
Life is interesting when you really think about the progression of it. I find myself asking people for advice all the time, probably more than I even realize. Decisions, situations, things I’m trying to think/work through. I lean on people. I seek counsel. That part isn’t new.
What is new, at least for me at 51, is really stopping to consider the other side of it, what an honor it is to be asked for advice. Stop to think about that. Someone has a question, they need help, they need answers, and they think of you as the person to advise them, that’s an honor.
A close friend reached out to me this week on a major career decision. As I was thinking through what to say, I realized my “advice” wasn’t really advice at all, it was questions. Just asking enough of the right questions to help bring clarity. As I was doing it, I found myself going right back to my dad. I go back to my eulogy of him often (probably more than I should). My exact words were, “he never gave you the answer, he just asked enough questions where the answer became obvious.” What a gift that was. No ego, no need to be right, just helping me see things clearly.
I’ve always thought about the value of having a board of advisors in my life. I seek it out, I rely on it, I’m grateful for it. But I’ve never really slowed down enough to think about the responsibility on the other side when someone is asking you to step into that role for them.
It’s one thing to be asked a question. That can be tactical. It’s another thing entirely to be asked for advice. That’s strategic. That’s someone trusting you with something that can impact the trajectory of their life. That shouldn’t be taken lightly.
The value of these Sunday Thoughts for me is they help me solidify reminders I never want to go away.
- Respect and have gratitude for the ask: There’s an honor taking place in that moment. Whether it’s your child, your spouse, a friend, or a colleague, don’t make light of it. Slow down, think it through, and be intentional in how you show up with your thoughts/questions.
- Ask more, tell less: The best “advice” I’ve ever received didn’t feel like advice. It felt like clarity. And clarity usually comes from the right questions, not the right answers.
- Qualify my advisors more: I seek counsel often, but this made me think, am I being intentional enough about who I’m allowing to influence big decisions? Not all advice is equal, and it shouldn’t be treated that way.
- Your personal board of advisors should be built on purpose: This isn’t something that should just happen. Think about the key areas of your life, family, faith, business, health, finances, and ask yourself who you trust in each. If you can’t answer that clearly, it’s probably worth spending some time on.
If being asked for advice is an honor, then giving it carries responsibility. And if receiving advice shapes direction, then who you listen to matters more than we probably give it credit for.
This was good for me today. Needed.
Hope you have an amazing rest of your Masters Sunday!!