Happy Sunday Everyone:
We had a leadership call for our division last Wednesday. I started the call by asking everyone to go around the horn with one thing they thought was working well right now, and one thing “if you could make a wish to the genie in the bottle for something to get better, what would it be?” My version of asking what’s not working with a little more optimism than a complaint fest.
There were 17 people on the call. At least 1/2 had the same request. The request in some way, shape, or form, was for people to be kinder to one another. Some was sales vs. ops, some was division vs. corporate, some was client vs. us, but it all had the same tone which was simply to be kinder to one another. Depending on your own personal mindset, the word “kinder” can sound soft in a more pessimistic mindset. In a more enlightened mindset, “kinder” sounds like more effective, more useful, more of an asset to a group of team members. I know this because I work hard to be enlightened when my natural state is to be more pessimistic. It’s a blessing in that it allows me to see both sides of the coin.
I looked up what being kind means; “Being kind is the active, intentional practice of showing care, compassion, and generosity toward others without expecting anything in return. It is rooted in empathy and requires the courage to treat people with respect”. I love all of it except “without expecting anything in return”. In our workplace, I do in fact expect that if I treat you with kindness by the definition above, you will do the same for me in return. If a large group of people all believed in the same concept, it would be next to impossible for the organization not to be better off for it.
Thinking through some thoughts to be kinder at work:
- Peek around the corner. Not sure what book I first read this in, but the concept is simple and amazing. Setting the person up for success in front of you. Example-The quality of my notes on client communication. How to help an underwriter understand our thought process in income calculations. Being crystal clear with a client on cash to close. Examples are endless. We have 452 members in our division, if each person took 1 minute a day to figure out how to peek around the corner, that would be 7.5 hours a day focusing on being better for your team members.
- Asset or a liability. I’m a believer that we’re all acting as assets or liabilities in every hour of the day, we’re not sleeping. In everything we do for ourselves and for others, we’re on one side of the coin or the other. Is this email helping the situation? Is my tone effective? Am I suggesting a solution or simply complaining? Am I lifting people up or sucking the energy out of the room? You have the choice. Being better requires self-reflection. Honest self-reflection usually creates a higher level of empathy, and a higher level of empathy usually creates more kindness.
- Talk about this more. Ray Dalio in “Principles” had his employees wear badges declaring their personality profiles so you knew how to communicate with whoever was in front of you. We’re not doing that, but if half our leadership team is asking for more kindness, it should be an open conversation. Can you imagine starting every engagement with “what’s one thing I can do to peek around the corner here?” Or walking away from every interaction knowing whether you were an asset or a liability? Talk about it enough and it starts to take shape.
Being kind has an unfair soft connotation to it. I’m rolling through some names in my head right now in our division of people who are kind but far from soft, namely Erin and Erica. Makes me realize we should all try to visualize a few people we work with that set the example of kind, of peeking around the corner, and who are assets when you engage with them. You might consider how your teammates would categorize you. It’s a worthy question we should all be asking.
Have a great long weekend, and thanks for reading. Might will all be a little kinder in the week ahead!